My New and Improved? Twelve for 2112

English: Robomop, a domestic robot to sweep fl...

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Oops! Sean Patrick Hazlett at  Reflection of a Rational Republican has asked for predictions for 2112. I thought He wanted predictions for 2012. That’s what years of watching Barney the Dinosaur with your kids does to your brain. Drawing on the hopes, dreams and sense of humor of a housewife, this is what I think the average household will look like 100 years from now.

  1. Homes will be built of materials that are resistant to heat and radiation.  This means that people will no longer fear losing their homes to fires or maybe even a nuclear war. Houses will also be able to shield their occupants from the effects of climate change
  2. Homes will have self-cleaning filtration systems.  Household air will be free from dust, pollens and pollutants greatly reducing the prevalence of diseases such as asthma and hay fever. It will be discovered however that such clean living results in weakening our immune systems causing outbreaks of new diseases.
  3. Clothing will be made from disposable, compostable materials.  Eliminating the need to do laundry while nourishing the soil.
  4. Boo boos will be treated with a spray-on synthetic skin that will immediately heal the wound and eliminate scarring. It will still be permissible to “kiss it and make it better”
  5. Mundane housework such as dusting, mopping and vacuuming will all be done by a household robot.  Like a Roomba on steroids.
  6. Bad hair days will be eliminated. A woman will be able to style her hair by uploading an image of her face and the desired style to an automated hair dresser that will then fix her hair.  By interconnecting to the auto stylists of your neighbors you can still catch up on the latest gossip.
  7. Baby monitors will be able to interpret an infant’s cries.  We will now know if baby needs a fresh diaper, a bottle or just a hug.
  8. 3-D technology will advance to where we will be able to interact with the characters on our TV screen.  This will prove to be a bad thing leading to all sorts of social dysfunctions.
  9. We will be able to communicate with each other  via cell phone like devices implanted behind our ears.  These devices will also be able to issue reminders and to do lists to us making errand running more efficient.  As an added bonus husbands will no longer be able to forget birthdays and anniversaries. On the downside it will be difficult to tell if a person is schizophrenic or merely having a legitimate conversation.
  10. The ultimate remote will be invented.  This device will enable a wife to override all other remote devices in the house. Eliminating inappropriate programming, channel surfing and excess sports watching.
  11. The “little red schoolhouse” will cease to exist as all children will be taught at home through virtual schools.
  12. I’m still holding out hope for that replicator.
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One response

  1. […] “My New and Improved? Twelve for 2112” from Politically Incorrect and Probably Soon to Be Illegal […]

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