My New and Improved? Twelve for 2112
Oops! Sean Patrick Hazlett at Reflection of a Rational Republican has asked for predictions for 2112. I thought He wanted predictions for 2012. That’s what years of watching Barney the Dinosaur with your kids does to your brain. Drawing on the hopes, dreams and sense of humor of a housewife, this is what I think the average household will look like 100 years from now.
- Homes will be built of materials that are resistant to heat and radiation. This means that people will no longer fear losing their homes to fires or maybe even a nuclear war. Houses will also be able to shield their occupants from the effects of climate change
- Homes will have self-cleaning filtration systems. Household air will be free from dust, pollens and pollutants greatly reducing the prevalence of diseases such as asthma and hay fever. It will be discovered however that such clean living results in weakening our immune systems causing outbreaks of new diseases.
- Clothing will be made from disposable, compostable materials. Eliminating the need to do laundry while nourishing the soil.
- Boo boos will be treated with a spray-on synthetic skin that will immediately heal the wound and eliminate scarring. It will still be permissible to “kiss it and make it better”
- Mundane housework such as dusting, mopping and vacuuming will all be done by a household robot. Like a Roomba on steroids.
- Bad hair days will be eliminated. A woman will be able to style her hair by uploading an image of her face and the desired style to an automated hair dresser that will then fix her hair. By interconnecting to the auto stylists of your neighbors you can still catch up on the latest gossip.
- Baby monitors will be able to interpret an infant’s cries. We will now know if baby needs a fresh diaper, a bottle or just a hug.
- 3-D technology will advance to where we will be able to interact with the characters on our TV screen. This will prove to be a bad thing leading to all sorts of social dysfunctions.
- We will be able to communicate with each other via cell phone like devices implanted behind our ears. These devices will also be able to issue reminders and to do lists to us making errand running more efficient. As an added bonus husbands will no longer be able to forget birthdays and anniversaries. On the downside it will be difficult to tell if a person is schizophrenic or merely having a legitimate conversation.
- The ultimate remote will be invented. This device will enable a wife to override all other remote devices in the house. Eliminating inappropriate programming, channel surfing and excess sports watching.
- The “little red schoolhouse” will cease to exist as all children will be taught at home through virtual schools.
- I’m still holding out hope for that replicator.
My Predictions for 2012 the Horror, the Hope, the Hype
Sean Patrick Hazlett at Reflections of a Rational Republican has thrown down the gauntlet and has asked other bloggers to list their technology predictions for 2012.
I am technologically defunct. Just starting this blog was a huge leap for me. I usually have to get my tech advice from my teenage kids. They love Apple. Now if I could just get them to eat one once in a while.
Here are my 2012 predictions. I chose to focus on issues that may be of importance to families. Some deal with technology, some not.
- As schools deal with budget cuts, virtual schools will become common. Children at all grade levels will take at least some of their public school classes at home online.
- The job markets will remain weak. As more and more families adjust to a reduced income, many people will choose not to re-enter the work force. This will create a return to the single income family with one parent staying home to care for the children. The stay at home parent will not necessarily be the mom. The spouse with the most income potential will be the one to return to work.
- We will no longer need to depend on Soyuz rockets to supply the ISS. Companies such as SpaceX will begin regular privatized missions late this year or early 2013.
- Video games will become more realistic. The gamer will be able to experience the feel of different environments. For example, feeling wet when in water, hot in a desert, or cold in the snow. He will be able to feel the sensation of various terrains beneath his feet and games will have sensors that emit real pain sensations when the player is injured in a battle. Thus giving our kids even more reasons to avoid playing outdoors.
- Biosphere resorts will become popular vacation destinations. Imagine relaxing in a lush tropical garden where it’s not too hot, not too cold, and no mosquitoes.
- The Mars Rover Curiosity will discover actual microbial life on the planet.
- Iran will test fire it’s first nuclear bomb this summer.
- Tensions with Iran cause gas prices to rise to over $5.00 a gallon this spring. This will result in real food shortages here in the US. In response more families will start to grow personal vegetable gardens. Several states will pass regulations to stop HOA’s from forbidding such gardens.
- Because an impending war with Iran will force us to stop our dependence on Middle Eastern oil in a hurry and because the technology already exists, I expect to see used vegetable oil become e popular as an alternative fuel.
- After the Republican Convention, Ron Paul, Michele Bachman and Rick Santorum will remain in the race as third-party candidates. The Republican Party will be fractured and Barack Obama will win the election as a result. This will cause the formation of a truly viable third-party and the election of a third-party president in 2016.
- Star Trek type replicators will become common in American homes. I know, probably not, but a mom can dream.
- And finally, all those of you who are expecting the world to end in December, and re using this, as your retirement strategy will be sadly disappointed come January 1, 2013.
I wish you all a blessed new year.